We love movies and understand that screenwriters and film directors must enjoy some creative licence. After all, they are not making documentaries. But all too often the 'secret swiss account' is used in Hollywood movie as a convienent gimmick that solves impossibly crippled plots. The terrorist need to get a $100 million ransom in 5 minutes in a safe place? Send them to my account in Zurich.

This is extremely unrealistic and is the hallmark of poorly researched, hastily written movies by complacent screenwriters. Even if one forgot about the utter implausibility of how Swiss bank accounts are used in such movies, they still leave a bland taste in the audience's mouth, like the coca cola diluted with tap water one was served in Eastern Europe two decades ago.

Instead of trying to write the endless inventory list of bad movies who make stupid uses of 'secret swiss accounts' in their plots, we decided to list only some of the worst examples for your enjoyment. The winner today was The Spanish Prisoner.

In the Spanish Prisoner, a research scientist working for an investment company invents a process that can make the company millions. A crook posing as a millionaire businessman sets up an elaborate trap to get the scientist to give him the secret process. Right in the middle of this constipated plot, the crook opens a pseudonym account in a Swiss bank in the name of the young scientist with about 10 taps on the keyboard, quite a feat in our times where every new client is scrutinized by the bank. Better still, the account suddenly shows up in a credit report obtained by the police. The crook explains gravely that credit reports will show you have an account but thanks to Swiss bank secrecy they cannot learn the balance.

Let us not waste too much time on this really bad movie, and get the facts straight: Altough one can open a pseudonym account by mail, this entails a thorough due diligence process during which the applicant must submit many documents about his affairs, but also speak personally to the Swiss banker. Under no circumstances can an account be opened by typing your dog's name on a toy screen like we see in the movie. For the credit report, it is ludicrous to imagine that Swiss bank accounts can even be listed on such a report. Where would the information come from? Swiss banks are criminally liable here in Switzerland if they only acknowledge the existence of an account, let alone supply the date of opening and client address.

As for the Crédit National de Genève, it does not ring very true. Either that would be a Swiss bank, and Switzerland being a Federal state, it would be Crédit Fédéral de Genève, or it is a Swiss subsidiary of a French bank named Crédit National and its name should be Crédit national (Genève). Either way it doesn't work. The cop finishes it off by saying "We know you have an account at the Crédit National de Geneva", a mix of English and French.